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Starting again...

Friday, May 19, 2006

I have to confess that I have been a bit preoccupied lately. Two things have somewhat dominated my time and thoughts this past month. One has been learning my new job, how I fit into it and how I am going to accomplish everything on my plate. The second has been the Oilers’ success in the playoffs. Both are great things that have me very excited about life. Both of these things have also seemed to keep my mind so preoccupied that I haven’t done a whole lot of personal reflection - that is until this week.

This week I started journaling again. This seems to be a cycle for me - I’m sure others are like this too - I seem to go strong for about 2-3 weeks writing everyday or close to it but then I will have a lull of a couple months and start again. I started this journal about 3 - 4 years ago and I’m still writing in it. That should tell you how much time I actually spend in it. But it seems that after every lull in my journaling I write the same sort of thing. Something like “Here we go again” or “Time to start journaling again” or “Sorry I haven’t writing in this thing for a while”. So, being about 3 months since my last entry I started my entry on May 16th saying “I’m staring again”. But then on May 17th I found myself writing the exact same thing to start my journal entry, “I’m starting again”.

Then it hit me - we are asked to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily. This is not a burdensome task. This is a blessing. This is a privilege. If I truly take up my cross, if I have laid down my live for Christ, if I have truly given myself to Christ - should that not be permanent? Then, why take up my cross daily? Why does Jesus say that I have to deny myself daily? (Luke 9:23) Maybe it’s because, Jesus knows me. He knows that I am going to mess up daily and that I’m going to need to “start again” everyday. To me that kind of sounds like Jesus is telling us “Yep, I know you’re not perfect so go ahead and say you’re sorry and pick up your cross again. What a blessing the Grace of God is, that we would be able to continuously make this recommitment to Christ.

I know this is nothing deep or profound - it’s just simple thought - a simple truth about forgiveness and grace. I guess it was just was a good reminder and encouragement for me.

Anyways, guess what I wrote in my journal today? - Yep - “I’m starting again”.

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  1. Anonymous Heidi | 10:49 PM |  

    I like the way you think. It's cool how God uses everyday things (or not so everyday in the diary's case) to teach us stuff. And that now and then we open our eyes long enough to actually catch it. Its kinda neat cause the other day God was up to the same sorta tricks with me. Go to MY blog to read all about it. ;)

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